Hey lovely lady! I’m so glad you finally made it. Sit down, grab a cup of tea, and get ready to relax. Recently, I have been noticing some negative habits that I used to have and that some of my friends still have. These bad habits affect your self confidence. They are the 8 habits that are ruining your self confidence.
As teenagers, it is can be challenging to feel confident in yourself. Most times you probably feel awkward, out of place, or like a fraud. It is hard to know how we are “supposed” to be, act, or look like because of the media’s skewed perception.
If you struggle with self-confidence and loving yourself, then keep reading and see if it is due to any of these negative habits. Find out which of these 8 habits that are ruining your self confidence are to blame.
“Confidence is the ability to feel beautiful without needing someone to tell you.”
– Mandy Hale
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1. External validation
External validation is where you need others to make you feel worthy and rely on attention from your friends, family, or boys. You often can’t feel good about yourself until someone else says you are.
This is not beneficial because you can’t rely on others to always build you up. You need to learn how to build yourself up with positive self-talk. Once you stop relying on others, you will feel a surge in self-confidence.
2. Negative self talk
Talking meanly to yourself is ruining your self-confidence. You are your worst critic. It is important to remember that little things you notice and get bothered by about yourself go un-noticed among other people.
It is okay to have negative thoughts, but the best thing you can do is acknowledge they are there and let them go. You shouldn’t pretend that you don’t have any flaws because we all do. Instead, you should acknowledge your flaws and work on improving the ones that are in your control.
3. Comparing your worst self to other’s best
It is so easy to look at someone else and see how much better they are than yourself. But what someone else portrays usually isn’t the full picture. We can’t compare our beginnings to other people’s middles or ends.
Social media makes us only see the moments “worth showing” from other people’s lives, so it makes sense that we feel like our lives aren’t good enough because of it.
Stop comparing your worst qualities to everyone else’s best qualities. Instead, acknowledge their good qualities alongside yours. Everyone has great things about themselves and things that they need to work on.
4. Judging others
Judgment often comes from a place of insecurity. This is the bad habit that I struggle with the most. It isn’t fair for us to judge others when we don’t know everything that is going on or their feelings.
It is not right for us to judge because it isn’t our business. This doesn’t mean that you can’t give your opinion (because you always should), but try being more aware before judging.
Make it your goal to think for at least 5 seconds before judging someone. Ask yourself, do I know the entire story? Am I just making assumptions off looks? Do I need to rethink my perception of them?
This will help you become more aware of your negative thoughts towards others or yourself. You never know, the girl you’re judging could become one of your best friends.
5. Not showing gratitude
Gratitude helps to humble yourself. It teaches you to be grateful for what you have and to be satisfied with it. This is similar to self-confidence.
If we view ourselves: mind, body, and spirit just how it is, we can be grateful for it. We should be thankful for our feet for taking us places, our backs for carrying our school books, and our hands for reaching out to others.
Every day, you should write down what you are grateful for. This can be things like moments spent with friends, the time you had to yourself, or a really good book you read. It doesn’t have to be specifically about you or your body.
The important part is that you are recognizing what is important to you and what you appreciate.
6. Thinking you are better than others
Viewing yourself as the best is not good for your self-confidence. It can make you feel like a fraud and as though you always have to prove yourself to someone. You need to humble yourself and recognize that you are just the same as everyone else.
Not better, not worst.
By not seeing yourself as the king of the castle, you can start to pay attention to what you need to improve about yourself. These improvements with then, in turn, create self-growth and self-confidence.
7. Being hyperaware of what others think
Your mom probably told you this every day when you were growing up, but it is such a great life lesson. You shouldn’t care what others think. This will only prevent you from trying new things and doing what you love,
People who are hyperaware of what others think of them are always trying to fit in some box. They want to be the best version of themselves but only because they want this other person to accept them. They’re doing the right thing for the wrong reasons.
Instead of focusing on others’ opinions of yourself, think about how you view yourself. Do you like yourself? What do you need to improve? How can you be your best self?
8. Lack of self-care
Self-care is so freaking important. Without self-care, you won’t have self-confidence. Your first priority should be making sure you are okay and checking in with yourself.
You need self-care to build your confidence. By spending time with yourself you will learn to love yourself and know what you need to do to improve. To feel confident with me, I like to do yoga, journal, or just go for a walk.
8 Habits That Are Ruining Your Self Confidence:
- External validation
- Negative self talk
- Comparing your worst self to other’s best
- Judging others
- Not showing gratitude
- Thinking you are better than others
- Being hyperaware of what others think
- Lack of self-care
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Do you struggle with self-confidence? What do you need to work on to become more confident and comfortable in your own skin?
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